True Love Waits comes full circle in marking 20th anniversary
FORT WORTH, Texas (SWBTS) – In February 1993, True Love Waits morphed from a nameless concept discussed in recurring coffee break conversations into a movement that picked up popularity and steam seemingly overnight. That month, 53 teenagers from Tulip Grove Baptist Church (TGBC) in Old Hickory, Tenn., committed themselves to sexual abstinence before marriage. In the 20 years since, millions of teenagers have followed suit, bringing abstinence to the national conversation and strengthening an innumerable amount of marriages long before they ever even began.
In February 2013, that grassroots, God-orchestrated movement, which calls teenagers to make commitments of purity, celebrated its 20th anniversary with a True Love Waits-themed Disciple Now event held at TGBC—the same church where the first group of students vowed to save sex for marriage by making the True Love Waits pledge.
TRUE LOVE WAITS PLEDGE
"Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship."
Richard Ross, professor of student ministry at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, co-founded the movement with then fellow-LifeWay employee, Jimmy Hester, while also serving as youth minister at TGBC. During the Disciple Now, Ross watched as a second generation pledged their purity before God.
“In several cases, I was speaking to teenagers who are the teenage children of those who made the first promises,” Ross said, marveling at the wonder of leading those he knew as babies to make the same commitment to wait for their future mate as did their parents.
Susan (Fitzgerald) Bohannon was among that first group of students making True Love Waits commitments at TGBC in the early 1990s. Now married and a mother of three, Bohannon says the movement that began when she was a teenager reaches beyond her Tennessee church to impact the lives of people across the world, as they make the transition from childhood to adulthood with their purity intact.
“True Love Waits was not just for one generation of teens but every generation of teens,” Bohannon said. “The children who are being born now will be teens one day, and it will be for them. It is not a movement that is relevant to only our culture or our ways, but [it is] an international, intergenerational and timeless movement.”
Since its formation, True Love Waits has spread to more than 100 nations—something for which Ross says only God can receive the credit.
“For a supreme Being, this was no problem at all,” Ross said. “The fact that the movement continues in its 20th year is a clear indication that it is empowered by the Spirit of God and not by some human ingenuity.”
Ross said it was the Lord’s hand that allowed the movement to ever spread beyond the walls of TGBC.
“We had virtually no funds for advertising to let people know about the movement,” Ross said, recalling the infant days of True Love Waits. “So, God simply harnessed the entire news industry at zero cost. As I explained True Love Waits to Katie Couric on the Today Show, or as Oprah interviewed the teenagers on her show, that was more powerful than millions of dollars of advertising. Virtually every national news [outlet] or local news coverage carried stories about True Love Waits. You cannot explain that other than the Spirit of God.”
Though a tally has never been kept of those who have made the True Love Waits pledge, a United States government study conducted three years into the True Love Waits movement found that three million teenagers had made a promise of purity. As the movement then grew and expanded into other denominations and countries, Ross expects that the number of commitments made to date must reach the multi-millions.
Additionally, in the 20 years of True Love Waits’ existence, the United States has seen a decrease in teenage sexual activity, after 20 years of solid increases. In countries where the movement has spread, AIDS infection rates have also declined, while they continue to rise in other nations.
Perhaps part of the longevity of the movement can be traced to its leadership, which understands that effective teenage decisions must be heart-based and not fear-based.
“Teenagers live with a developmental characteristic called the Myth of Invulnerability,” Ross said. “They really do not believe that bad things can happen to them, which means calling young people to abstinence and purity only to avoid a negative consequences will never be effective. We have to give them much stronger and a much higher motivation. They really need to believe that they’re committing the most intimate part of who they are for the glory of the King.”
Ross explained that while True Love Waits’ focus has always transcended preventing sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancies, it stretches beyond simply being an obedient Christian, as well. The focus, Ross explained, is the glorification and magnification of Christ.
“In the past, True Love Waits young people have often made promises thinking, ‘Jesus wants me to do this because it will make my life better, so bad things will not happen to me, so I will not be a disobedient Christian,’” Ross said. “Now, there is an element of truth in each of those statements, but I detect a shift [toward] ‘Not that I do this so that my life will be better, but I choose purity for Christ’s glory. I am doing this for His sake, not my sake. I am doing this because He deserves adoration, and the purity of my life is a way to show Him that adoration.’ The focus comes off of ‘me,’ and the focus goes to ‘Him.’ There is no moralism. If I choose sexual purity for the glory of Christ, that is just pure worship.”
Ross said he has seen that act of worship transfer over into worship through marriage.
“In scores of weddings over the past 20 years, brides and grooms have made slight changes to the wedding ceremony in order to celebrate promises they made as teenagers,” Ross said. “For example, we know of True Love Waits rings that have been melted down and have become part of wedding rings. We know of tattered True Love Waits cards that have been exchanged by brides and grooms after riding in a billfold or purse for many years. I have loved this for the joy it brought to the couple but also for the witness it is to the younger youth watching from the audience. They got to see the power of promises kept.”
By the end of the weekend Disciple Now at TGBC, 65 more teenagers made promises they pray to keep as well. Jeff Pratt, current youth pastor at TGBC, told the Baptist & Reflector that the commitment service held Sunday was a great day for the church.
“It was awesome to see 65 teenagers kneeling before the altar, making commitments to purity and being led by Richard Ross,” Pratt said. “Richard has such a great legacy here at Tulip Grove and there could not have been a better person to lead us for our weekend. I am praying that this is the beginning of a new generation of students who will be committed to the lordship of Jesus Christ and will demonstrate that through their commitment to purity.”
Parents, youth leaders and students who want to find out more about True Love Waits, how to hold a commitment service in a local church, or how to sign a commitment card online can visit www.truelovewaits.com.